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The Many Shades of Happiness
"Only when it is dark can we see the stars," says a proverb that was cited to me during one of my many struggles through life lately. I have to admit, it's a beautiful, encouraging statement. And literally true too! My personal interpretations to the meaning of this quotation were multiple: I considered that in difficult times we, indeed, become more vulnerable and receptive toward things we would normally overlook: things we might have taken for granted for the longest time. It could also mean that in times of trouble we learn to perceive opportunities in areas that we would normally ignore. Or it could mean that we suddenly start realizing how valuable our few real friends are to us, and how precious the gift of their friendship. In this perspective our friends become the stars in the darkness. I guess there are many more ways to look at this wonderful saying. But what I consider the more interesting conclusion from my contemplations on the statement is, that in every stage or circumstance we find ourselves in, we will experience a certain level of happiness. And I think this is a thought to cherish. Think of various times in your life. Even the darkest ones. Wasn't there still something in those times that brought some delight? We've probably all been through the motions of life's roller-coaster ride: we have all been confronted with ups and downs. But think about it: weren't there clouds even when you were at your highest peak so far? And weren't there cheerful moments, even when the path seemed dark and grim? I tried to reflect on several scenarios in order to test whether the idea of happiness as an existing factor under every circumstance was viable. I envisioned people in areas of the world troubled by extreme drought: people who saw their children dying from thirst and famine. Yet, I contemplated, these people must have known a few moments of happiness: perhaps when the food- and water trucks arrived after a long time of waiting, or when they were together with their partners, as they continued to conceive children, even under their atrocious circumstances. And then there are people who make continuous progress on the ladder of success. And every time they think to themselves, "Once I've achieved the next goal, I will be completely happy." However, when the goal is reached, there is yet something else to desire. And they think, "Once I can make that happen, I will have total peace of mind." And, again, they find that, after realizing their intention, they are being nagged by yet another aspiration. Even those people that civilization has taught us to admire: the ones with all the financial riches in the world, dwelling in the most extraordinary mansions, counting the most influential individuals among their friends, having access to the most desirable partners, and enjoying a perfect appearance due to their ability to pay for that beautiful exterior; even they have the feeling that they are missing something, if only the need to have something to desire. Conclusion: happiness knows many nuances. Every stage of our life displays another shade. One of the many possible ways to define happiness may therefore be that it is the temporary emotion you experience when you have achieved a goal you set for yourself. And every circumstance you get maneuvered in will determine the level of the goals you can set: sometimes they will be minuscule, and sometimes they will be huge. But reaching them is like catching a falling star. So, perhaps we should realize from this, then, that we should not set our goals too high, so that our moments of happiness, although maybe from a lighter shade, will be many. Joan Marques, holds an MBA, is a doctoral candidate in Organizational Leadership, and a university instructor in Business and Management in Burbank, California. You may visit her web site at www.joanmarques.com Joan's manual "Feel Good About Yourself," a six part series to get you over the bumps in life and onto success, can be purchased and downloaded at: http://www.non-books.com/FeelGoodSeries.html
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