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GRIEF & LOSS
Maurice Turmel PhD
What is it about Grief & Loss that upsets us so much? Is it the heavy duty emoting that we have to do to get through our suffering? Is it the fear we have about opening ourselves to all this pain? Because, let's face it, it's hard down there, in the land of grieving where all those emotions toss us around like a cork on a stormy sea.
We understand that this is necessary, at a surface level , but how are we down there where it really counts? You know, that place we call Grief & Loss, where pain dominates our life, where suffering is the paramount teacher. This is really difficult, and we know it. We only go there when we have to and we try hard to escape from it as fast as possible.
What is necessary here to get through to the end of this process? Is it simply a matter of toughing it out, or, do we have to dredge and dig and pummel ourselves in the process? Hard to be sure, isn't it?
All those Gurus that say "do it this way or that way," are they capable of handling it themselves? As a survivor, in grief, I would want to know that, wouldn't you? Isn't that the essence of false advertising? Never having been there yourself? Absolutely! This we all know without a doubt.
So what is it that we require then to move through this disaster called Grief & Loss? We seem to know it at some level, don't we? We seem to know that deep down where our sorrows dwell, there is an inescapable reality. We have to feel this. Oh yes, it's an ugly fact, but true nevertheless. We have to feel this pain in order to exorcise it from our bodies. Yes, we have to feel it and bleed it to its excruciating maximum so we can learn that this too is survivable. Isn't that the most important thing in all such activities - to know where you are at when you finally get to the truth?
This truth I talk about is your truth - that gut-wrenching feeling when you know you are right. This is your truth and only You can determine that for yourself. No guru can ever take you there. Because deep down, you know this is your "house," your well-spring of inordinate activity. What happens here defines your life, tells you who you are, and what you have to suffer at times of grief.
Isn't that sad though, to arrive there and find this out? But is it? Really? Perhaps it's a better thing than you imagined, this place where truth resides within. Perhaps it's more than you ever bargained for. How about that for a change of perspective?
These are your lessons after all, to have and to hold, your truths to be borne. How could you ever have a guru do that for you? No such luck! You have to do it yourself. But what a fantastic opportunity to get to know yourself better, to live deep inside while this grieving process goes on all around you.
Yes, you will survive, you will overcome these tragic effects, because there is truth there, deep down where you live and that truth will take you somewhere important, for only you. Because it's Your Truth, remember, and only you can assess the effects that it will have on you.
So do it! Get down there where it hurts and find out for yourself what it is that can happen to correct your misperceptions about Life, Love & Purpose. Yes, you have access to the truth, just as I do, just as we all do. And these lessons are yours for the taking. Grief and Loss are but one more avenue to help you get to your very own Truth.
Maurice Turmel PhD is the author of "Parables on Grief & Loss" and "Parables for a Modern Age." He was a practicing therapist for nearly 25 years, and is now an Author, Speaker and Performing Songwriter, all on the subject of Personal Growth, Creative Self-Expression and dealing with Grief & Loss. He can be reached at drmoe@self-helpnow.com or, through his Website at: www.self-helpnow.com.
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